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"Do you know what the hardest part of writing is?"
What?
"Having something to say."
Yuk, yuk, yuk. The real trick is having something interesting to say.
"That would be in my definition of 'something'."
Well, it's just that, long ago, I used to be so taken with the idea of writing that I thought it would be enough to just write out ... even a movie or TV show - as if to do a novelized version of it.
"What? Why?"
That's the point. It would be simply to write for writing's sake. It would be a better use of my time than anything else I had to do, and without having anything genuinely interesting of my own to say.
"Did you ever actually do that?"
No, not really. I might have made a gesture at it a couple of times, but it never got serious.
Thinking about it now, the idea still has some allure for me. After all, such a 'novelization' requires a lot of interpretation, which can make for a somewhat engrossing enterprise.
"Whatever floats your boat. Why don't you?"
I can't believe that I, myself, would be interested in reading such dreck later down the road. Besides, these days, I think I would much prefer to play chess.
"Even by yourself? Play chess."
Even by myself.
"It doesn't sound like you are all that interested in writing."
That is the quandary. I feel like I am, strongly so - but I don't. And I don't know how to resolve that difference, what to make of it. I guess it was the only way I ever fancied as a way of making my living in society, but as far as my talent and opportunities went, I might as well have wanted to be a rock star or an NFL quarterback. And, with age, of course, my interest and ambition have quieted considerably. As my life drains down, you can say that the issue becomes rather moot. And so it is all just journaling - me tracking my own thoughts and feelings. Pessoa put it nicely, something like, "If I write about my feelings, it is to reduce the fever of feeling." I am a marginalized figure, an extra in the movie, and I am just trying to pass the time as enjoyably and peaceably as possible.
What?
"Having something to say."
Yuk, yuk, yuk. The real trick is having something interesting to say.
"That would be in my definition of 'something'."
Well, it's just that, long ago, I used to be so taken with the idea of writing that I thought it would be enough to just write out ... even a movie or TV show - as if to do a novelized version of it.
"What? Why?"
That's the point. It would be simply to write for writing's sake. It would be a better use of my time than anything else I had to do, and without having anything genuinely interesting of my own to say.
"Did you ever actually do that?"
No, not really. I might have made a gesture at it a couple of times, but it never got serious.
Thinking about it now, the idea still has some allure for me. After all, such a 'novelization' requires a lot of interpretation, which can make for a somewhat engrossing enterprise.
"Whatever floats your boat. Why don't you?"
I can't believe that I, myself, would be interested in reading such dreck later down the road. Besides, these days, I think I would much prefer to play chess.
"Even by yourself? Play chess."
Even by myself.
"It doesn't sound like you are all that interested in writing."
That is the quandary. I feel like I am, strongly so - but I don't. And I don't know how to resolve that difference, what to make of it. I guess it was the only way I ever fancied as a way of making my living in society, but as far as my talent and opportunities went, I might as well have wanted to be a rock star or an NFL quarterback. And, with age, of course, my interest and ambition have quieted considerably. As my life drains down, you can say that the issue becomes rather moot. And so it is all just journaling - me tracking my own thoughts and feelings. Pessoa put it nicely, something like, "If I write about my feelings, it is to reduce the fever of feeling." I am a marginalized figure, an extra in the movie, and I am just trying to pass the time as enjoyably and peaceably as possible.
