sunday

[monk222]

It's 1:30 in the afternoon. Maybe I should try to write something before lying down for my nap. I just don't seem to be in an expressive mood, but, then, on the other hand, I am also feeling pretty good. So, maybe this is fine: if you are feeling good what more can you ask for? at least if sex and money are not in the offing. Pi says, "Shall we do an survey question?" No, I think I'd rather give a report on my reading life. Daimon says, "What, you have given up on Kant?" No, but it is about the Critique. As you know, I was settled pretty hard on the idea of quitting and moving on to Schopenhauer, but then I gave Kant one more hard shot, and, surprise, surprise, as I moved into his actual text, I found that it isn't quite as bad as I feared. It's not a lot of fun. It's certainly not like reading Plato. I mean, Kant is effective putting together an abstract engine of how the mind work, how it thinks about itself and about things in themselves. And I couldn't reconstruct his arguments if my life depended on it, but it seems like it might be kind of passable reading. Pi says, "Does this mean you are sticking with it? Well, yes and no. I am continuing to read it, but I am still not sure if I will bother to finish it. Remember, I mainly wanted a feel & sense of how his philosophy work, and I thinking that 300 pages, for instance, might be more than enough to give me that, so that there might not be any real reason spend on it the time it would take to get through the whole seven-to-eight hundred pages. In short, I am playing it be ear. Daimon says, "So, essentially, no news here." Well, effectively speaking, I guess that is fair, but psychologically speaking, I am in a very different place with respect to the Critique this morning than I was in yesterday afternoon. Yesterday, I felt as though reading through each page would be like walking over hot coals; now it's just a question of what is the best use of one's time and elder years. ... ... My relationship with Motherless-dot-com has hit a bump in the road. It appears they are no longer content to use that innocuous Live Jasmine pop-up. They are now using those hard-jamming ads that lead me to reboot the computer rather than risk fucking around with the ad after it refuses to close. Is it time to go back to Heavy-R? The big problem is the ghetto-ization of porn sites. I'm sure the regular corporations and business would love to get the views that a good porn site would offer them, but they are shamed out of it. That leaves porn sites dealing with questionable businesses that are not shy of using questionable tactics. Why can't we just admit that we love porn and are more than a little perverse? As I have said before, I would be more than happy to lay out a significant subscription payment for hassle-free access to my chikan and rape videos. ... ... I thought I was going to let the cats out today. However, this afternoon the skies went dark and the winds really started whipping up. Pop was outside trying to clear the grass & weeds flourishing between the fences. I went out to help him clear up some of the debris, and I thought we were going to get another bad storm such as landed on us last Friday. It only rained for about fifteen, twenty minutes, and not heavily, but it was enough for me to keep the cats inside for another night. Moreover, even if I can let the cats out tomorrow, we have a strong chance of rain for the next day. We're just caught in the middle of some very iffy weather. For the record, there has been hurricane weather from Hawaii to Florida. ... ... Anent my Little Golden Books, I have gone through all the material in my hardcover Three Journal. Before proceeding on to the loose-leaf material, I have decided to start incorporating material from those little notebooks from my Old Journal. The idea first occurred to me a couple of weeks ago or so. I was thinking about how I will never get to those old journal entries from the 90s going in the pace and order I have been pursuing. So, I am changing the routine here. I am from time to time going to pluck a notebook from my old shoe box containing all those Old Journal little notebooks and suss out some stuff that I want to keep for my Little Golden Books. I have some ambivalence going into it, because I know how poor and demoralizing that material is. I mean, you will not find one voice from the Sugars and Gabes of my blogging years, and I was not yet in the business of being a quote-hunter. And the life I was living is pretty bleak, practically a true waste of precious life and years that really pains me now. Hell, I did not even attain escape-velocity on my reading life until the very end of the nineties. Shakespeare and Homer were still just so much elitist clap-trap to me. Nevertheless, I started working on it today, and I am finding some salvageable journal entries, so that I am good to keep going on this project. I have to have some respect and appreciation for the way I lived the better part of my twenties and thirties, the prime of one's adult life. It was my life. ... ... As for my reading life, I think I have had my fill of Kant, at least for now. I ordered the first volume of "The World as Will and Representation" tonight. I should be starting it on Tuesday or Wednesday.