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I had my late-evening meal, but I had nothing to watch: no movies, no philosophical or literary discussions on YouTube that caught my imagination, and I didn't feel like watching a chess video either. So, I tried something radical. I just ate to my own random thoughts. I didn't even bother with music. It is a little painful, that awful sense of emptiness, with the disappointment that my own thought should be so ... anemic and pointless. But I can do it. And I consider that maybe I can use the quiet, to leave my brain free for a little while of cinematic gunfights and melodrama as well as from speechifying and arguments. A little zen-like, perhaps. Maybe I shouldn't be so frantic all the time to fight off such silences. Besides, a meal doesn't last that long, maybe twenty minutes at worst. I should be able to live with myself for that long, even if I am pretty sulky company.
