Dream

A disturbing dream. It's the whole family, though. Teri as well as Pop. It felt like Jack was part of this dream world, too, but off-stage. At first, it seems as if this dream was from the early Bay Horse years, when Teri and Pop would get the groceries on their own, and I'd help to unload when they got home. However, in this dream, I have the full expectation of being able to get the groceries, too.

In the dream, Teri and Pop surprised me by having gone early to get the groceries, and I am upset and very angry. I look through the groceries they brought home, and I don't see some of things that I wanted, and I throw down. I'm not going to live like this! I tell Pop that he can live on his own. He asks me what am I going to do. And I actually answer that I'm going to be like Walt Whitman. I'm going to hit the road and write about it. But I know this is a cover-line. I don't intend to live at all. I don't know how much Pop understands that. Worse, I'm not honestly sure what I will do, or can do. It's gross blackmail, or else ridiculously childish - "If I don't get my way, I'm just going to hold my breath until I die!"

It also becomes clear that the dream, or at least part of it, the latter part, is meant to represent the present, because at one point I tell Pop, "I know you have been taking care of me for over 50 years, but..." It's an ugly scene, like a bad adolescent tantrum, except I'm in my fifties.

Elvis Movies

For lunch I broke out my "Speedway" DVD for my meal-side entertainment. I forgot, again, how compulsively watchable are many of the Elvis movies. I would like to stock up on some more of them, but I still need to build up my audiobook collection.

Wet Life

I thought I might be able to finally move the trash bins back into the back yard. We've been under such a sustained reign of rains and floods that it has been ages since life has been normalized. I was surprised, though, to see that the mud running down the side of the house and through the gate is still fresh and soft. Even more, I was stunned to see that we still have a sizable pool of standing water at the corner of the patio. We did take in some more light showering last night, but it was scarcely noticeable. The grounds must be so thoroughly saturated that even a drizzle will fail to get soaked up. So, I left the bins alone. I don't want to track mud when I deal with them - that's my test. I only wonder if it will be July before we return to normal dry life.

Reading Life

I was thinking that "Magic Mountain" is too dry and heavy a read for my evening reading. However, one of the salutary benefits of reading a dry didactic text on Ancient Rome is to make "The Magic Mountain" seem light and frivolous.

I'm afraid, though, that "The Brothers Karamazov" has been laid aside. I still want to read it, but such an exploration of Christian metaphysics doesn't feel like a priority to me. Yet, this is moving me to give those audiobook disks a good chance to catch and keep my interest. As just a practical matter, I really could use all those hours of audiobook-listening.