![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Not long after Kay left, Pop goes out with Lorie. He must be intoxicated on the idea of being a real Casanova. They came back to watch the Spurs on the big-screen TV. That leaves me with the other side of the house and the small rooms. A little after ten-thirty, I was feeling quite tired, and I decided to see if I could enjoy a little nap & doze, expecting to then get up and enjoy another reading session. I did not think in the least of calling it a night. I have not gone to bed before midnight in months. But I surprised myself. I fell asleep and kept on sleeping and sleeping. Aside from the bathroom runs and the switch to the big room, I must have slept at least a good seven hours, not getting up until after eight. My best friend in life these days is sleep, more so than books, more so than even pornography, maybe even more so than the cats. The kindest thing I know is a good sleep.
Jan. 31st, 2016
Liz Cheney, the daughter of Dick, is running for a House seat. She must really be itching to play the big Washington game, after having failed to win a Senate seat. (AP)
* * *
I thought it was getting rather warmer, a bit too summery. It's 83 degrees and it's not two o'clock yet. Still we should have all of February before we need to start worrying about uncomfortable weather, though it is also true that February is the briefest month of the year.
` ` `
Off with the t-shirt this afternoon. Walking about in my summer get-up of shorts & socks.
* * *
I thought it was getting rather warmer, a bit too summery. It's 83 degrees and it's not two o'clock yet. Still we should have all of February before we need to start worrying about uncomfortable weather, though it is also true that February is the briefest month of the year.
` ` `
Off with the t-shirt this afternoon. Walking about in my summer get-up of shorts & socks.
Pop's Social Life
Jan. 31st, 2016 06:50 pmKay is here for the night, after leaving only yesterday afternoon. Pop wants to put up some curtains in his room, and I guess Kay is choosing the curtains. Jill will come tomorrow to actually put them up. I don't think the curtains are the key, though. I think Pop is doing what he can to have company as often as he can manage it. It's like he abhors being alone now and hungers for connection. When he doesn't have a guest over, he needs to be talking chummily with someone on the phone almost constantly all day. I don't really count as companionship for him, which is understandable enough. Pop has become a real social animal in his last years. It is as though he has really grown and found himself, becoming a much fuller person, trying to drink in as much life as he can.
He really did need to be free from mother's cold shadow. I don't really want to dump on mother, though. She was mentally ill. Touchingly, I think she tried, in her way, to be a good mother and a wife. For me, it is harder to feel love for her, because I was subject to her power over me as my parent, and me as an adult-dependent, an adult-child, and so I had to suffer the brunt of her meanness and harshness in the last years of her life. I can still miss her, though, as the woman I think she wanted to be and sometimes was. It is only sadder because I failed even worse at being simply just a halfway decent man, but I guess I am my mother's son - too weirdly egocentric and prideful. And I will presumably die as the stunted, undeveloped person that I am.
He really did need to be free from mother's cold shadow. I don't really want to dump on mother, though. She was mentally ill. Touchingly, I think she tried, in her way, to be a good mother and a wife. For me, it is harder to feel love for her, because I was subject to her power over me as my parent, and me as an adult-dependent, an adult-child, and so I had to suffer the brunt of her meanness and harshness in the last years of her life. I can still miss her, though, as the woman I think she wanted to be and sometimes was. It is only sadder because I failed even worse at being simply just a halfway decent man, but I guess I am my mother's son - too weirdly egocentric and prideful. And I will presumably die as the stunted, undeveloped person that I am.