Thursday Morning

I didn't want to get out of bed this morning. These days, I usually pull myself up at around eight, but I remained down for the count until 8:30. I didn't stay up later last night either. I went to bed at around midnight, which has been pretty standard for much of this summer, I think. I'm not really complaining. It actually feels luxurious. And it's not like I have to show up for work, and I certainly don't have a date for brunch or anything. But I don't want to push it either. If nothing else, I don't want to throw off my meal schedules too far out of whack. I still like some regularity in my days.

I have a snippet of a dream. I'm in a library again. Probably college. I am looking for a seat at a table, and it is practically comical how I cannot find one. Every time I think I have found one, it suddenly fails. For instance, the chair might disappear, or become a joke of a chair, like a little kiddie chair. Oddly, it is very similar to my old bathroom dreams, in which, despite my intense need, I cannot find, so to speak, a pot to piss in (a dream which I have not had in years, interestingly enough). I find it a little fascinating to wonder what this might mean, as it does seem to mean something. I don't think it's that I want to go back to school. I believe I am way passed that now. I am no longer a twenty-something or an early-thirties-something. You couldn't pay me to return to college now, as a farty old man. That would be a joke too cruel.

On a side note, I am a little worried that all my dreams will be limited to little snippets like this from now on. It is all that I have been able to pull away with from my sleep lately. I am afraid that age has eroded my mental faculties to the point where I can no longer retain the longer, more elaborate dreams that I used to be able to write about.

Lunch

I think this is a first. I forgot to make potatoes with my big chicken lunch. I really feel the loss; the meal was all out of balance. My day is thrown out of joint now. Well, it wasn't that great a day anyway. Just a regular monkey-knight day, not one word with a friend, not one smile from a pretty girl. Just another jerk-off day. On the bright side, that is one less dish to wash.

Lost

........ ........... ............. ........... ................. ............ ................
Drained two hours just Binging through possible porn selections ... what a waste ... like I should be kicked out the door to get a job. .... .... ........ ........... .......... . .... ........ ........... ............. ........... ................. ............ ................
.... ..... How come only the Japanese know how to do porn??????? ...... . . .......... ... . . .....

Tea

I am trying an extra tablespoon of sugar in my brewed tea (7 instead of 6 for eight cups of tea). I need a little more flavor it in, I think, even though my original goal was just to have a drink that was more flavorful than water. I need a little more happiness on my tongue. However, I think the problem might also lie in the 'cold brew' teabags that I am using. I am flirting with the idea of trying the tradition teabags that require boiling water. The problem is that this would seem to require getting two new containers - one to boil the water and one that can take boiling hot water as a pitcher. Money and space come at a premium in this modest little household. But if I knew I could succeed at making a good pitcher of tea! But I don't. So unskilled. It's too bad that I am not a decent-looking girl with nice tits; then at least I would have something to offer to the world.

Dallas Cowboys

I was clearing out of the big room as Pop sat down to watch the Cowboys play a scrimmage game. I asked him if there were any more trips planned to see the Cowboys play. He explained that there are, but that a change in policy at the Center gave him a change of heart about going. He said that someone was complaining about people who do not help out at the Center getting to enjoy such trips, and now non-volunteers have to pay $25 to go. It sounds like a nominal fee to me, but his pride is somehow hurt by this policy. He doesn't want to pay if it will not be required of everybody. I must say that I don't get his position at all. It strikes me as a perfect example of cutting off your nose to spite your face. It seems like such a special sort of trip, something really nice in his elderly years, a little jazz and razzmatazz, a real thrill. I know he greatly enjoyed the game that he went to see. Maybe our little talk has him rethinking the matter.

Late Night

I am so damn tired, and it is only 10:30. I wonder if my biorhythms are undergoing their own seasonal shifting, so that I will be returning to an earlier bedtime. Right now, however, I want to finish the last four pages of my Lincoln-Douglas debates, and then fall dead in bed.

Writing Life

It occurred to me that I have not done any book-blogging, nor any work in my hardcover journal, for the last few days. How has this slipped past me like this? Then I realized that the resumption of my 'spill journal' is doubtlessly responsible. It has consumed all my writing energies. Now that I am past the exciting first stage of this freestyle-writing, I should be able to balance this out better.