66. Rapid City Days

A little trouble sleeping last night, and a McDonald's memory plagued me. The time that woman day-manager was doing a night shift, and John, the main night-manager, was obviously counting on me to make it an easy job for her, in my position behind the grill running the meat. However, at the very beginning of the shift, I felt a little sick, a little nauseous, and got leave to go home. I bought some ill feelings with that move. I suspect John may have even come close to firing me. The truth is that I wasn't feeling that sick. Did I just choke under the pressure?

I’m not sure why I am dwelling on this now. It is not one of the more fascinating forks in the road on my little journey through life. It’s not one of the places I find myself often returning to, wondering how things might have gone differently. Regardless, I am back there now and taking another look, and I can better appreciate that I failed myself. I let myself down. This was no big deal in itself, but I can appreciate how all these little things lead to this empty place I find myself in now. It is not just my looks and humble origins.