monk222: (Default)
monk222 ([personal profile] monk222) wrote2017-03-27 02:07 pm

Monday

"Knock, knock! Knock, knock!"

Alright already! I'm here.

"It didn't seem like it."

I spent the morning mowing the back. The grass was dry, the sky was cloudy, I had the cats inside, and I thought that the work might do me some good.

"Oh, did it help fight off the blahs?"

Not really, no. I'm a little worried, too. Here I was, thinking that I might have found my life-routine at last: Solitaire and books. But now I am wondering if I am burning out on it.

Though, to be sure, I still want to play cards, and I still want to read. It just feels like I need something else. Aside from the real needs, of course: friends, sex, the whole social thing. A substitute. I need a little something that makes me want to get out of bed in the morning.

But I am a little afraid that I am running out of substitutes.

"There's always the desperate solution of getting a real life, you know, with other people and stuff."

Pfft, I wasn't handsome or tall when I was young. I'm definitely not more engaging in my 50s.

"Uh, news flash: a lot of people are in that boat. You could meet other regular, averagey people in their fifties."

Umm, I think I'll stick to the cats.

"Well, that's the problem, isn't it?"

Yeah, yeah, it's old ground, right? I don't think I'm about to get out of this trap.

"So, what are you going to do?"

Right now? Deal out a couple of triplets of Solitaire and take my afternoon nap.

"Stay the course?"

Yes, I am almost physically/psychologically unable to do anything else. I'm hoping these blahs are just a mood. But we shall see.

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