I do agree with that, and I don't actually believe that what my friend is feeling at the moment is love in the true sense, but, as you put it, high infatuation. Love, at least of that sort, has to be a two-way process. I think the area where we disagree is not about the destination, but how one gets there; does one start with lust, or does one start with the kind of basic level of caring that happens in any friendship? Or would either of them work equally well?
It is natural to want to make other people happy, I think - at least, for those of us who are not outright psychopaths, and neither of us falls into that category. As love deepens, and it is as you say a gradual process, it becomes more and more natural to put the happiness of the other person before your own. But I do wonder if love can develop at all if there is no initial inclination to do that, if all that is wanted from the other person is the immediate gratification of a desire. It seems to me to be entirely the wrong foot to start off on.
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Re: An Addendum
Date: 2006-01-15 11:32 am (UTC)From:It is natural to want to make other people happy, I think - at least, for those of us who are not outright psychopaths, and neither of us falls into that category. As love deepens, and it is as you say a gradual process, it becomes more and more natural to put the happiness of the other person before your own. But I do wonder if love can develop at all if there is no initial inclination to do that, if all that is wanted from the other person is the immediate gratification of a desire. It seems to me to be entirely the wrong foot to start off on.
What do you think?