(no subject)

I kind of find myself wishing this morning that Arthudo would just die already. It would take away all my outs. I'd practically have no choice. And I have been thinking about my life, in total, so much and am so disgusted with it, that I don't know if I can live with myself any longer if Arthudo should make a great recovery. And I feel like I can do it. But, yeah, if Arthudo does make it back and our lives can resume something like its old course, then I wouldn't really want to just throw that away. I mean, books and rape-porn are enjoyable even if they cannot make life especially meaningful.

(no subject)

I mowed the back yard after lunch. Then, before stepping in the shower, I knocked out a good full wank session. I must not be overly concerned about Jack coming to cause trouble, though I did keep the windows and doors shut and locked for a good part of the day while I was busy and therefore inattentive to what might be coming up the driveway.

(no subject)

Well, how about that! Lorie called. Arthudo is significantly better. He is fully conscious, recognizes people and can converse with them. I thought I should call Kay on the off-chance that she has not gotten a direct source of information of her own, and it turns out that she is already visiting him. I even learned from Kay that Arthudo now has a room of his own.

My initial reaction is one of relief, actually. Yet, it greatly confuses things, but confusion is life at least. The most troubling point for me is that he is reportedly still much too weak to be up and about. However, Arthudo is doing well enough that it would seem to be more reasonable for me to be able to get some groceries if I need to - he can pay for them. I think I can hold tough for another week, though. I don't really want to have to deal with anyone. It's not as though they are my friends, and I definitely don't want to leave the house alone.