Thursday Morning

Such a hard time falling asleep last night. I thought about how I was supposed to turn such times into a bonus reading session, but I felt too dead tired to even watch a TV show, much less to read. Yet, the hours kept tolling past. I think I need to force myself to get up, even if that paradoxically means splashing water on my face and waking myself up more thoroughly so that I can read. It's a lot worse to be tossing and turning in bed for hour after hour - such dead time, and me dying with it.

5 Days

I guess my '5 Days' thing is over. Pop left to spend a couple of days at Kay's, and it is also my shower day. See, everything fell in place so nicely. I had to take my laptop to my room and work off some stress. But, no, I don't really want to shelve the 5 Days routine. I will just accept that I am weak and will sometimes fall short of who I want to be. This shouldn't be hard to accept by now. The 5 Days will be more like a guideline rather than a hard and fast law. If I don't have something, some kind of bar or speed bump, I will go back to wasting everyday on porn and wankery, and I definitely don't want that.

Shave

How about that! I got in a shave. I didn't plan on it, when Pop mentioned he was leaving for a couple of days. However, today, I realized that if I don't do it now, then when? I was getting shaggy. Then there's the hair, a big part of the shagginess. I was planning on getting a haircut before Thanksgiving, and then getting another haircut in April or May, but it never happened. I'll probably 'rough' it until April, focus on the inner-man, fall into my Jesus role, just let life happen to me.