Saturday Morning

When I went to bed at eleven last night, although I was dreadfully tired, I did not believe that I would actually fall asleep. I fully expected that I'd be back up before midnight watching the rest of "Riot Club". I must have underestimated how much the cats wore me out the night before, on top of a busy grocery day.

There was a lot of dreaming, but it all seemed ... quite disposable. However, it might be a good idea to make a practice of at least getting down one scrap of such dreams, if only to help keep from falling into stifling laziness, in which it becomes easier and easier to not write about this or that, as more and more become quite disposable.

In this dream I seemed to be in a relationship with a young woman, no one recognizable, a brunette. I was apparently young, too. The best that I can make out, we were engaged to be married, but she was having cold feet. I was pleading with her to stick with me. I was joinging the army, and I was telling her that she might like army life with me. The disturbing element in this dream is that the girl would alternate into becoming a dog and then back to a woman again (which is not the first time for this dog-woman theme). It was all weird, all this night's dreaming. I imagine that all my nights are probably filled with this sort of dreaming, but are not remembered, and in remembering these scraps of dreams, I am reminded that it is not necessarily a bad thing when one wakes up in the morning feeling perfectly dream-free.

Master Sergeant

I forgot to mention one thing from yesterday's grocery day which I do not want to remain forgotten. As the guard waved Pop to enter the Air Force base, he called Pop by his old rank. He said something like "Have a good day, Master Sergeant!" It had been a long time since I thought about Pop's rank. It's not too bad a rank, and one should not forget that this is a big factor in the way we have been able to enjoy a reasonably comfortable life. He has earned his respect. He did something real in society. He wasn't merely given his stake in society.

Connections

I think "Master Sergeant" might have fueled last night's dream, and it was the dream that helped me to remember the entry at the gate.

Pop

Pop came home early. I held out some hope he might stay the night there. I had not even finished putting away yesterday's groceries. Oops!

Yokota Days

One memory from the deep past keeps coming back at me these days. From Yokota days. It's the time those two guys got me to hang out with them for the day. They were both on the high school football team with me. That pretty blonde guy, who was perhaps a little smaller than me, and that brown fellow with a hatchet face like mine, about the same size as I am - Asian rather than Mexican, or quite possible Asian and Mexican rather than Asian and Anglo. We rode out on a train to a nearby town. They got me involved in a little shoplifting and fare-jumping, with me just following their lead, being mostly concerned about being left behind. I handled myself badly on the trip back home, as I grabbed the dark guy's hair in the midst of some verbal horseplay.

I think I now understand what that day was about. They were not the top cool kids, but they were a faster bunch than me and my little gang. I think they were auditioning me to see if I might be able to hang with them and play in a higher social league. I had some status with my academics and with sports, and there were some indications that maybe I was not just a good little church boy after all - the drinking and the porn. If I had passed the audition, it likely would have meant a ticket to some real parties, and it might even have meant some sexual play (or maybe not). Instead, they saw that I was too childish and awkward and that was that.

Re-Domesticated

Funny, all three cats came inside of their own accord today. It is as though their enforced night indoors had re-domesticated them a little. When I let Sammy out, I realized my mistake: "I could have kept them all indoors!" You see, I am due for a mowing. However, in truth, I was not looking to do it tonight, not after yesterday's busy day. I was thinking in terms of Monday or Tuesday to knock out that chore.

Food

Cake for breakfast and frozen pizza for lunch ... yeah, I am going to need something more solid for dinner. I am going to bake a chicken breast for a sandwich and have some beans with it.

I ought to vow never to have frozen pizza again. Maybe I can make an exception for that french bread pizza, which is mostly bread with just a thin topping (a smearing, really) of pizza flavorings on top.

Pomegranate

Too much time has passed since my last post. So, let's just spill some things. Pop took over the big room at eight. That actually worked for me, because I needed a shower. I also need to clean the toilet, but I think the shower crowded that out of my practical schedule, though I did give it a quick Comet scrub to buy me some more time. I remembered to read Sunday's columns tonight. I think I'm going to watch more of Reese Witherspoon's "Wild", which I started when I ate dinner. I'll probably also have a Haagen Dazs ice cream bar. Pop got the Pomegranate with the chocolate shell. I have been captivated by that pomegranate flavor. It's a new one on me, and I actually like it, and I almost never like anything different. Maybe I should look for a box of the stuff, the ice cream; I can do without the chocolate shell.