Sunday Morning

It is not a few clicks cooler this morning. But it is overcast.

As far as my morning's recollections go, my night was as dreamless as can be. But my sleep was relatively solid. I am more rested this morning, even though I was up and out of bed by eight, like I'm back on my old schedule.

I get out of bed with louring thoughts of how unattractive I am, and unloved, and unlovable. But it feels very good to have the house to myself, very comfortable.

Since I am through with the Times, I am going to watch another episode of "Hand of God" over breakfast.

Neighbor Dog

I never see Neighbor Dog anymore. I guess I can stop stuffing my pocket with his snacks when I take out the trash.

I'm not even sure if he has nice grass to lie down on. I see that they cemented over the other side of their lawn as well. I don't want to be caught spying into their yard (again), but I gave more of a look this morning, but I could not find him at all. I'm pretty sure he is there. He is not lucky enough that they would send him to live elsewhere.

Lost

... Man ... coming out of that nap ... like trying to swim back up from the ocean floor... like I'm drugged ... or maybe mugged ...

... Maybe I shouldn't feel bad ... if I don't get much done ... before they return. ... It ain't like I'm getting paid. ... So ... so what? ...

... If there is one advantage I have ... in this life ... it is ... I can go at my own pace ... free and easy ... you know? ... Why should I feel pressure ... about doing shit!? ... If it takes me all day to have breakfast ... and clean up afterward ... so that it is already dark outside ... when I'm washing my cereal bowl and orange juice cup ... so fucking what!!! ... Fire me! ... Hell, fire at me ... put a bullet in my unprofitable brain ... see if I fucking care! ... Go ahead ... do me a favor ... let it all end now ... I will call you my friend ... my only friend...

Cats

I don't like it when all my cats are gone all day.
I don't like just being used for food.

Shave

I'm glad I got to my shave today. I do not get many golden opportunities like this: having the house to myself for at least 48 hours. It's a highly imperfect shave, though I did go over my face with the electric razor over and over. It's partly the razor perhaps, but it's perhaps my brown savageness. I can only shave so closely, with these very dark hairs. I just accept that I will always have a somewhat shaggy face. Considering the unfortunate condition of this face overall, it hardly matters. It is just a good idea not to be walking around and eating with an unruly bush on my face. Gotta mow it down every once in a while.

Chores

Brushing my teeth tonight, feeling dreadfully tired, I realized that I am not going to get around to cleaning my toilet, which I kind of hoped to get around to this weekend. I had also thought that I might be able to clean my shower and tub as well, but ... obviously a no-go. I'm not even sure that I am going to get in an extra episode of "Hand of God" before going to bed.