11. Elephant Ears

Too many fucking elephant ears. Mother may have had a little knack for arts and crafts, but she did not really have more know-how than Pop. Blame it on lower-class life. And as for plants, forget about it! The old joke: she didn’t have a green thumb, she had the black thumb of death. Even these elephant ears would have died, if I had not decided to see if a lot more water might help. Although they do not thrive in our summers, they can live if you pour enough water on them. My problem today is that she did not quite understand what she was putting in the ground. It is not just one ear per seed. No, siree! I have tried pulling some out by the roots over the years, but they always seem to come back. Like I said, I inherited all my know-how. And I certainly haven’t added to it.

12. Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill are having a little trouble at home Money problems. They called twice tonight and Pop has decided to go over. I have always been surprised by how they have managed to maintain a real household (a house that may be a little better than ours) over the years. Even without a college degree, Jill was able to pull down a decent white-person’s salary, no less than 30 thou a year, but something happened in paradise. They are hanging in the air now. Presumably, Jack’s lawn-mowing cannot support them. No doubt, they are bleeding some money from Pop. This is a bad time of the year for this. We need the money to run the air-conditioner and enjoy that modicum of middle-class comfort.