Apr. 1st, 2017

Saturday

Apr. 1st, 2017 08:25 am
monk222: (Default)
Another fucking five o'clock morning. To think: not long ago I thought I was over this.

"So, what have you done with the time?"

Aside from cards and reading? I have been feeling particularly depressed. I was thinking part of the problem might be that I have had continuous access to the Internet these couple of days with Pop at Kay's place. I've been used to being offline for most of the day. Although that hasn't made for happiness, I think it is good for me not to be reminded constantly that I don't have any e-friends, as it brings up the contrast to that time when my e-life was ... rather dreamy: when it had me thinking at times that my whole real life might actually be redeemed.

"You know, Monk, it might help a lot if you just stopped reading Melissa."

Yeah, yeah, it probably would. Reading her really does drive that contrast between the happy illusions of my old e-life and the nothingness of my prevailing reality. But I've tried to quit a number of times over the years. Obviously, it never worked.

"Maybe it's worth another try."

Maybe.

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